yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
