I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
