I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
