You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
