It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize