I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize