so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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