I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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