I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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