and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
