after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also, beer. Big fan.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
