It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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