i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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