my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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