just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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