I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
