Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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