what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
