you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
