My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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