I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
