Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
