wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Couch. On fire.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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