In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
