you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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