god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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