Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
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I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
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My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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