Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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