Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
