dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
