she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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