And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
