do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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