you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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