I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
