i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i need some magic done to my vagina
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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