I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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