Can Purell be used as lube?
In America we eat man semen.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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