Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
