We named our party play list daddy issues
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
