pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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