We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
