I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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