Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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