I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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