How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
