More tranny stories later!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
