I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
