I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I love you.
Bad choice
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
