if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
