So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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