Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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