went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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