just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
