The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
