it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
