I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
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yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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