Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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