I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
