I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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