i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
tell me about the fingering
Randomize